Empathy and Travel

Being in Italy these last few weeks in a mode I call "vacationing" has given me some time to reflect on empathy and its connection with "traveling." Let me explain.

Vacationing, what I'm currently experiencing, is what most people I know do. They pick a place they dream about, go and experience it, and then have memories to last a lifetime. Yes, sometimes the vacation has hiccups: there is the obvious language difficulties, the frustrating navigation through streets or public transportation, the discomfort when the beggar approaches outside the Louvre, and the general unpredictability that happens when one is outside one's own culture. But, dare I say, vacationing is safe, predictable, and often quite enjoyable. Days filled with seeing top sights, evenings consumed with delicious meals and cocktails, and sleep that closely resembles home (upon a quick Google search, I discovered there are "more than 584 Hiltons worldwide"!) give us just enough comfort to balance any and all discomfort. We are barely stretched outside our comfort zone and our perspective remains largely what it was.

Traveling, on the other hand, is different. It is neither better nor worse than vacationing; it's just different. Oftentimes, a traveler will go a place that is not glamorous and easy. Perhaps the traveler picks a spot where Allah is the one true God (or Buddah) or visits a place where living below the poverty line is the norm. What does this mean for the traveler? Discomfort. Not only does the traveler have to deal with all the things the vacationer has to deal with (see above), but there is another level: there is the never-ending stream of people (often children) asking for money or to buy something or to visit their shop, or, even worse, there is the absolute look of despair and vacancy when someone comes up to your finished meal and silently asks if they can take your scraps; or, perhaps, it's the head-to-toe covered female or the impromptu prayer spaces to worship a God that others feel is evil that stops you dead in your tracks and makes you question everything that you were taught. Travel like that punches you in the gut. There is no hiding behind ease and comfort and luxury. It's the human condition and all its complexities--right in your face.

Empathy, I believe, is a by-product of a travel experience but not of a vacation (this is not an absolute, of course). Helen Reiss, the author of the book The Empathy Effect posits that one of the absolute BEST ways to strengthen and gain empathy is through perspective taking. Obviously, gaining perspective can happen in numerous ways: having a conversation with someone who holds different beliefs than your own, reading books that cover unfamiliar topics, engaging in different cultural traditions, and (in relation to this post) by traveling. Traveling makes you look at issues of religion, poverty, socialism, healthcare, etc. all in a different light. Yes, if you are a traveler, you can stand strong in your own beliefs, but damn it's hard to do so when something so gut wrenching smacks you in the face. 

Overall, I supposed this post is to memorialize those many, many people I have been blessed to interact with, even if those interactions are expressions of their own vulnerable human experiences that cause me to stop dead in my tracks, fight back the tears of inequity, and change my perspective. 

To the children who snatched the trash off the table in Senegal, I see you and am changed by you. To the young man who silently asked for our chicken bones in Morocco, I see you and have been changed by you. To the young women who have been taught to use their bodies for sex in Cambodia, I see you and have been changed by you. To the mothers with their babies living on countless streets, I see you and have been changed by you. To the countless others who challenge everything I know and who make my gratitude grow deeper, I see you and have been changed by you.